Anyone know what should i do ?

im a real proud girl and never fight for someone i love...its so stupid i know...but i prefer to die instead of saying sorry to someone i love and make him come back to me...what should i do? If i understand that someone loves me i leave him and sometimes i think i hate him...i become tired of people soon...dont think bad...thats why i dont try to find love anymore...i dont want to be a heartbreaker anymore...plz help me how to love someone...